Tomorrow should be interesting…

Jason will find out for sure if he is getting laid off.

*tryingtobepositive*

Today is our 4 year anniversay and I’m feeling wonderful today.

I’m in love, I’m feeling loved and I’m happy at this moment.

Now, to make everyday this good *dreams*

*sigh*

I’m trying to be happy but there are so many things keep going wrong. I’m pissing me off more than anything.

Our 4 year anniversary is on Thursday, which also happens to be the day Jason is forced to stay home from work WITH NO PAY because they are “cutting back”. Not only that but the next day on friday, the final lay offs will be made. So there is a chance that he will not have a job…..

So our wonderful night at the Melting Pot has been put on hold. We don’t want to drop that kind of cash if he isn’t going to be employed. We may not be doing anything. So much for wearing that pretty dress I hunted down. They have been skirting around the issue for weeks so he has been waiting and waiting. I’d rather be the one up for losing my job than him. I think it would be way easier for me to get back into my industry.

Money is not our friend lately It’s got me so stressed out, I don’t know how to deal with it.

On the upside, if he is let go we’ll be ok for a bit. He will got a nice chunk of pay for all of the PTO he has saved up.  It’s ridiculous how much they give him, he rarely misses work so it just piles up.

We did talk about the possiblity of leaving the state. If at least one of us could find a good job else where then we would do it. The idea of planning a move like that makes me happy….The first thing I’d do is ask my company if I could work out of one of the other offices we have. We have facilities in Atlanta, Dallas and LA. LA is out of the question because unless I was getting a huge as raise, Jason wouldn’t move there…even with a raise I think he would say no.

..back to work for me know. i need to finish setting up my new big ass cubicle (we jsut moved into a new building).

The pain is too much, my head is pounding. I can’t get it to stop…..I don’t know whats going on or why it hurts like this. All I know is I want it to stop. I just want to curl up into a ball and cry until I pass out.

It smells like mangos. I got this new hair cream and I’m in love with it. I did my hair yesterday and it turned out sooooooooo straight, i love it!

I’m at work right now. Dancing in my chair and writing an article about Spring Training. I think the content writing is getting easier! I get to w0rk from hom this Friday! Woot!

Today and is sailing by nicely. It’s going fast and I love it.

We spent a lot of money this weekend…well not a lot but 120$ we didn’t really need to spend LOL..It was super fun though!

We also tore the living room apart and re-arranged it. It’s so much nicer Much more open and relaxing. It made me happy.

What else…hmm, I’ve been taking my meds. I’m not sure if they are working…I’m not really trying to focus on it much. I’m just taking them once a day and we’ll see how it goes. My back is however getting worse. I’ve developed a new kind of pain. Just about any movement in my hips or lower back is excruciating!

Work is boring…as usual. Our content writing project is over  for now. I think we will be doing it again soon. I’ve been just trying to get back on the social media stuff. I’m kinda bored with it now. I dunno what to do. I can’t really leave this job, it’s secure and there is a possiblity Jason might get laid off. So I have to just deal!

I guess I should try to go do some work.

I feel really good right now.

I’m just OK. No nervous, anxious, sad or angry. Just OK and it’s really nice.

I was in a bit of a mood earlier but that just vanished and I didn’t realize it. The only thing different I’ve been doing is listening to music non stop. All my favorite stuff.

..kinda odd but I’m not complaining.  Back to work for me…stupid NASCAR articles!

I am currently reading this book but Jen Lancaster. I’m a new fan of her. Her writing is funny and witty. I haven’t been so into a book in a long time.

It’s not a “how to lose weight” routine. It’s her story. What happened to her that put her in a situation to have to lose some pounds. I did pick up some tips along  the way though. It’s really nice to hear it from someone who is actually of size. Real struggles, real eating habits, ect…

On many occasions so far I’ve found myslef relating to her 100%. And in may different kinds of situations – with friends, strangers who piss you off,  food habits, relationship habits. It has been quite refreshing to be so into a book.

I think it’s time for me to get really serious about school and a new job.

I’m sitting her at work and I don’t want to be here. I can usually ignore those feelings, do my job and go home. Lately, even getting started on tasks have been like pulling teeth. I think I’m reaching my stopping point.

I think I’m over this place.

My body feels weird.

I’m feeling tired but not and I’m completely lacking motivation right now. I’ve had a headache for the last 2 days, the inside of my head feels jello-ish when i turn my head. I don’t know what have means but I’m gonna dope myself up on Excedrin til it stops :-/

I did manage to complete 1 article today so that is good but I need to do one more and I’m really dreading it.

I need to get lunch…